she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
