Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
