she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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