How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
