Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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