You really coming over, don't trick.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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