hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
