I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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