you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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