Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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