Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
