alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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