she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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