I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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