My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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