I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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