Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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