I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
