Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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