i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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