i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm always down for nudity.
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