I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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