why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
