absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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