I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
