now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
