a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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