I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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