Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
