There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking