and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
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four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
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You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?