Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
