He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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