so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
