woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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