You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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