Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
