Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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