You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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