oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
