There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Actions speak louder than pants.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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