$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
