i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
