I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
