Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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