He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
my liver is dry heaving
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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