Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
