I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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