I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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