I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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