..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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