I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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