Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize