i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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