at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
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My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
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I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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